My Nurse is one of my Heroes....

Coffee of the Day - Spiced Hazelnut

important message---> if you received an email message from me with the subject 'hi' and the content saying something along the lines of 'check this out' and a link that follows, PLEASE IGNORE IT!!!! my inbox and address box were hit by some kind of spam. I am so sorry and have tried to fix the problem. again, please please do not open the link. just delete the message. thank you.


Don't fall outta your chairs...but I have another card to show you today! yep, 2 this weekend! how exciting is THAT!?!?

I really wanted to make a card for my oncology nurse, especially since I gave the poor thing & everyone in the chemo room such a fright last time when I had the allergic reaction to my chemo meds and sent them all into a big tizzy. So I used this adorable new nurse image from Jellypark and this great senti from Create with TLC (because in my mind she really is a hero!!!) to create a thank you card.
The design of this card is a bit unusual since the new challenge this week at Pile it On is cards with 2 or more folds. The card is a gate fold with a belly band, but when I scored the sides for the folds, I came up a bit short. Rather than have the folds come up short, I scored twice more on each side to create a pleat or 'V' shape. this adds extra thickness. the belly band then needed to be thicker, so it is actually box shaped. My card now has lots & lots of folds! :)

Papers are new Authentique Glory - absolutely wonderful papers!!! I picked up this fun twine on Etsy - rather than white with the navy it is natural with navy. the rose is made from an old zipper and the heart is punched from a coffee cozy & then inked. a baby button was added for a bit of fun! edges of main image were coated with distress stickles. final touches were made with my handy dandy SU! ink squirty tool.

Challenges:
Pile it On - 2 or more folds
Card Makin' Mamas - punches
Creative Card Crew - dimension
Southern Girls - die cuts or punches
Digi Stamps 4 Joy - cute as a button
Totally Gorjuss - something new (papers, digi, & twine)
Bearly Mine - anything goes
C.R.A.F.T. - recipe (2 dsp, tag, glitter-I used distress stickles)
Craft your Days Away - red, white, & blue
Sweet & Sassy - thank you
Art Impressions - anything medical
Digi Doodles Shop's Best - spotty
Little Miss Muffet - anything goes
Going Grey with Scrap Creations - bingo (glitter, punches/die cuts, buttons)
Paper Take Weekly - red, white, & blue

Friends Forever - new Dilly Beans challenge!

Coffee of the Day - Toasted Coconut

Hello! I bet you didn't think I'd be back quite this soon with a project, now did ya?! well, I wasn't quite so sure myself..... tee hee! I have several projects that I have started sitting on my craft desk, but then get to feeling too puny to finish, so I was tickled pink to actually get this one all the way to 'card' stage! ;)


Dilly Beans has a new challenge that started yesterday and the theme is 'friendship'. Nothing in my life has quite shown me what the true meaning of friendship is all about quite like this cancer journey, so I wanted to make a card for my hubby to tell him how much I appreciate him sticking by my side. I have learned in my 25+ years of marriage that the romance may come and go, but it is the friendship we have that gets us through the tough times. That and our faith....

I used several of Megan's cutie little hedgies, adding some eyelashes to the girl and of course a pretty pink Prima! it just seemed appropriate that they were standing on these fun mushrooms doing 'Eskimo kisses'. I used glitter gel pens to highlight the flowers and polka dots. the grass was cut with a MFT die. Papers are Echo Park This & That, the senti tab is a fun one from Jenni Bowlin.

everyone have a most wonderful weekend! know that you are truly loved! :)
Jennifer

Princess Latte

Coffee of the Day - Coconut Macadamia

Hello everyone! I know you must have thought that the big bad wolf had come knocking on my door.... nope. just the big bad chemo has knocked me right into a proper blechy fog that doesn't seem to want to leave. this is not the door on "Let's Make a Deal" I thought that I had chosen..... a big ZONK for sure! grins! and it all starts up again next week.... wooo hooooo! at least we are on the down hill side if the dr. sticks to 6 treatments. I have officially reached the half way point, so that is a VERY good thing.

lots of big stuff happening around here. Ryan graduates from high school next week. of course having chemo a few days before hand is not ideal, but can't miss a treatment, so I am going to press on regardless of what the dr. tells me. will NOT miss my son's graduation! he has also been asked to speak at the baccalaureate service the night before, which is a huge honor. I'm looking forward to attending that as well.

This weekend some friends of ours from several churches are coming over to help put a new roof and floor onto our enclosed porch room. at various times this has been my craft room, but it has leaked so bad that everything inside has been ruined. (several years ago I lost almost all of my craft supplies due to the snow melt). Some VERY generous people have come together to help us fix this room this weekend. I was truly overcome by the kindness of so many to help us in this way. We are going to have a BBQ tomorrow afternoon as a small way to say thank you for all they are doing. Don't know just how much I will be able to participate, but it will be lovely to see some of these amazing people again. :)

I have been trying to do itty bits of crafting here and there. haven't completed any one project yet, but maybe before the weekend is over I will have something to share with all of you.



Before I leave, I thought I would post this photo of Latte, one of our precious pups. As many of you know, we have 2 labrador retrievers sisters. They are 10 years old and such an enormous part of our family. They do sleep in bed every night with Dave & I, and I wouldn't have it any other way. :) Well when I received the cancer diagnosis, we picked up special bandanas for the dogs to wear - Latte got the pink one since she is such a princess. She has treated it like her tiara! She has become even more 'royal' since wearing it, if that is even possible. They both get very upset if their bandanas fall off or must be removed for washing. it is actually quite funny. Mocha is a riot when the camera comes out, so it's hard to get pix of her - she wants to lick the camera lens. but in true Princess fashion, Latte poses properly! so here she is for all of you to see! :)

Feeling Loved

Coffee of the Day - Caramel Pecan

Hello everyone! I know it's been forever since I last posted. I got hit with a nasty fever last week after going to Ryan's Choir Banquet. My oncologist really doesn't want me going out anywhere since I don't have any immunities to speak of, but I do hate missing all of Ryan's senior events at the high school. but they do knock me for a loop when I go.... spent all of the rest of the week in bed battling high fevers and ick. on the good news front, all of my wonderful family is now at home since Mick & Tyler have finished their college semesters. so happy to have them back home again! :)

Had chemo yesterday. Good report from the dr. as to my blood levels, but had a nasty reaction to one of my chemo meds. I sure do keep those poor souls on their toes, as the whole office was in a tizzy for about 10 minutes until things stabilized. I gave the folks sitting next to me a scare, that is for certain! Then all of the meds they gave me to get my system back to normal kept me awake all night. oy! always something to keep life interesting! ;)


anyhow, I do have another card to share with you today. Way back when on those lovely days when I actually felt like crafting, I was able to make this card for Milk Coffee Challenges. The challenge this fortnight is Buttons and Bling. I have to say that the lovely people over at Milk Coffee have been so kind and patient with me. They took me on to their DT knowing about my cancer, allowing me to create & post only when I am able. Thank you for that!

Papers are Echo Park For the Record, gilded rose is Prima, buttons and lace bit are vintage, notebook journal page is Jenni Bowlin, red sparkler is Webster's Pages, rhinestone flourish is ZVA, and senti is Create with TLC. little accents were made on main Milk Coffee image with stikcles and my white gel pen.


before I forget, I want to also share a photo of Ryan & his girlfriend Ashley before prom this past weekend. Chardon HS was given the most amazing prom experience at the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. they all had such a wonderful time - most certainly a memory that will be treasured forever! :)

btw - thank you so much to those of you who have sent cards for the cancer chemo patients! my oncology nurse was so touched by your kindness! :) we are making a special box to keep all of them in for everyone at the center so that they are divided by theme and easier for people to go through while they are getting treatments. I have more ready to take when I go again the end of this month. you are so kind to reach out to others! :)

Mother's Day at Pile it On, but alas she gets no flowers.....

Coffee of the Day - Maple Pecan (to celebrate the last day of our annual Maple Festival!)

Yes, you are seeing correctly! I have a card for a DT project! :) oh happy, happy day! Today is a fun challenge over at Pile it On - create a Mother's Day card without using any flowers at all.... sounds much tougher than it actually is, especially for a coffee lover like myself. tee hee! My MIL happens to enjoy coffee almost as much as I, so it was easy to choose an image from our sponsor, Bugaboo, to make this fun card!

Papers are Lily Bee Designs Head Over Heels by, twill ribbon is Prima, buttons are Cosmo Cricket, baker's twine is Martha Stewart, accents of shimmerz paint and my white gel pen were added, and finally the heart was punched from a Starbuck's coffee cozy before spraying with pearl glimmer mist for a touch of shine! the polka dots on the coffee pot were made by tapping the end of my pen into my ink pad, then stamping right onto the cs.


Challenges:
Pile it On - Mother's Day, but no flowers
The Crafter's Cafe - embellies with a twist (Mother's Day)
Party Time Tuesdays - anything goes with kraft
Ribbon Carousel - anything goes with a spooled item
Creative Card Crew - ribbon (hope the twill counts)
Paper Take Weekly - sketch
Bunny Zoe - ribbon or twine
Made Especially for You - recycle (Starbuck's coffee cozy)
Divas by Design - buttons and/or bows
Simon Says Stamp - anything goes
Deep Ocean - punches and/or dies
Papercraft Star - polka dots
Aud Sentiments - anything goes
Hiding in my Craftroom - Mother's Day
Fussy & Fancy - punches/dies
Pixie Cottage - Mom or special lady

Uncle Fester is alive and well and living in Ohio.....

Coffee of the Day - Maple Pecan


I bet you didn't know that Uncle Fester from The Adams Family is STILL alive and well..... yep, lives here in a little village in northeast Ohio.... just look at this wonky photo and tell me I don't look just like him! ;) dark shadows under my eyes and all! ha! oh my gosh, it's a good thing I was never a raving beauty, because I would be going through some kind of an identity crisis about now, dear friends. thankfully the sores on my head and body aren't showing in this photo. probably because it's not a fab photo to begin with since I took it with my phone, but I did want to show you what I look like these days.

my goodness, I had no idea just how warm hair actually keeps a head. I find I'm constantly reaching for my winter hats because my head gets sooooooo cold. David thinks I look like Ripley from the Alien movie series. guess I need to start working out with the weights now.... yeah, that made me giggle, too! ;)

now don't fall off of your seats or anything, but I am actually going to have some papercraft projects to show you in a few days! shut the door - I know!!!!! isn't that cool?! I've really truly been up to doing a spot of crafting these past few days. nothing earth shattering, but hey, I'm tickled pea green to just get back to my craft table!

Going to put together a box of cards to take to my next chemo appt. People bring in hats, pillows, blankets, etc. that they have made to share with everyone. There is no charge for any of it - it's all free to anyone going through chemo treatments. My oncology nurse is also a papercrafter, so I asked her if I could bring in some cards to share. There isn't anything like that there. I thought about it after remembering the big promotion SCS does every Oct. for MD Anderson. She was thrilled, since she has been asking to see some of my cards from the first time I started going. I am so happy to be able to share my cards with people who will hopefully enjoy them. I give most of them away anyhow, so this is perfect.

All of you have a most wonderful afternoon and weekend! Remember to watch for that sun and listen for those birds! :)

Thunderstorms & Zombies

Coffee of the Day - Mocha Mint

Oh the twists and turns the roads we walk do take.... thunderstorms are approaching, my dear friends. but you need a rain shower in order to make those beautiful rainbows, don't you? Rainbows are filled with such promise, such beauty, let us never forget for one moment.

My hair is almost completely gone. Not really such a biggie in the long run, but it is sure annoying to have it constantly falling out into my face. I seem to leave piles of it every where I go - worse than the dogs. so glad we cut it down to just an inch or so or else it would be very traumatic to see clumps of it all over the place. We'll be shaving it off today if possible. I have these horrid sores that have cropped up all over my body, but especially on my poor little head. My teeth are turning a strange shade of grey, and oh, how my bones just hurt.



I tried to let Tyler and Mick know over the phone that their Mom is looking much different, but when Mick came home this weekend for a quick trip, the look on his face said it all. poor guy tried to hide it, but I could see the horror in his eyes. How I would love to not ever have my family go through this battle - to be able to protect them the way a Mother should from the trials of life so they don't have to watch...... that is the hardest part of this walk. I don't care what happens to me - better me than anyone else. but oh good golly..... don't make it hard on my guys. that breaks my heart into pieces.

I ask for prayers for them, please. I will be fine, no matter where this road takes me. But my family.... oh my. They didn't sign on for this. and the tears I cry are all for them. I see the look in their eyes and it rips me apart. I would protect them from this if I could. I would keep them from having to see my body fall apart and decay. I truly am turning into a zombie right in front of them. and there is nothing I can do to shelter them from the horror of what I am becoming.

But there is still joy.... I know it deep down inside. I feel it and I can see it. A robin has built her nest right outside our back porch room. I watched her on Saturday bring the pieces to the lilac bush where she has decided her family home should be. On Sunday I saw the most beautiful red fox running along side the road. It's been years since I last saw one in its natural habitat. My cat friend comes by every day to visit with me on the back steps. He will even let me pet him now. So while my body changes there are still precious moments of beauty if we can but stop and find a moment to be still and enjoy them.

Round 2 in the Chemo Octagon....

Coffee of the Day - Cinnamon Hazelnut

Well another round of chemo has come and gone... and boy are my poor arms so bruised after all of the tests and needle prods this past week to prove it. I look as if I went a few rounds in the Octagon and came out the loser. add to that my hair coming out like a shedding dog and I am one raggedy looking critter, I can tell you that! ;)


Haven't been getting the best of news from the medical end this past week. We are watching closely some 'activity' according to my PET scan in both my liver and bone marrow that are cause for concern. I was given the oh so encouraging quote the other day of 'survival is possible'.... do they not have any clue as to what that sounds like on this side of the desk?! oh well. they haven't met my God, have they? He has a plan and I will keep walking HIS path, not the one set forth by the doctors. for 10 years doctors told me I would never have children. then lo and behold in 3 years I had 3 most glorious boys. every day I thank God for the blessing of them. so I will keep things in perspective - understanding the reality of what is happening in my body, but knowing that my path has already been set before me. it is up to me to choose how I will respond to all of this news.

so I continue to listen to the beautiful birds. my owl friend continues to serenade me every day. I caught a glimpse of him for the first time ever the other night. what a wonder to behold! he flew right by our neighbor's house with those mighty wings outstretched. my family is a constant joy to me. I couldn't possibly ask for anything more in my life. I am filled to overflowing with blessing upon blessing. Life is full and life is complete. :)

Chemo Brain is setting in...

Coffee of the Day - Maple Cream


Well, it's official. Chemo Brain is making it's way into my wonked out head and I'm getting strange looks from my family all the time. oh my, I think it's just gonna get worse as time goes on.... I say things and then have to stop and think about it after I get that 'look' from everyone. I find that my fingers just can NOT seem to type properly on the keyboard anymore. it takes me forever to get one sentence correct. so posts will be short and sweet from now on. y'all are probably all shouting 'hooray' on that one! :)

I was at the hospital today for my PET scan. we've discovered that my type of breast cancer is a bit more rare and agressive than was first thought. it also has a high risk of return and not such great odds when it does. so my dr. has extended my chemo by several more treatments for now. more of my lashes, brows, and hair have fallen out. but I'm trying to sit outside and enjoy the sunshine while I can. have taken up chatting with a stray cat that's been hanging around. he now comes when I call out to him. :) you know what I say - the sun is still shining and those birds are still singing! giggles!

Enjoy your weekend and know you are loved sooooooooooooooooooo much! :)
Jennifer

p.s. I also wanted to add a quick comment here about word verification on blogs - if you have this added to you blog, I'm sorry but I just won't be able to leave comments any longer. it's always been hard for me in the past, but it's gotten just almost impossible for me to try to read those letters now - especially now that the extra words have been added. what many of you don't realize is that for those of us with neurological problems, it is harder than you can possibly imagine to try to figure out those letters with a wonked out brain. I can spend up to 10 min. trying to decipher some of them and then end up with a nasty headache. comment moderation can solve your problems with spammers if that is your concern. but I do apologize - I just can't read those things anymore. please don't take it personally.

A Most Blessed Easter to You

Coffee of the Day - Coconut Almond


I just want to take a quick moment to wish each and every one of you a most blessed Easter! I hope that you are surrounded by family & friends today.

Know that you are loved with an everlasting love.... even when you don't love yourself very much. There is One who loves that most unlovely part of you and smiles when He thinks of you. He gave it all for you and would do it again and again. and I, for one, am so glad that He did! :)

Happy Easter!

A Week since chemo...

Coffee of the Day - Toffee Nut (first Starbucks in For-Ev-Er!!! major yummmmm!)


Thought I would pop in with my 'one week since chemo' post. What a thrill. ;)

Actually, Dave and I spent the day out, popping by to see Tyler for about 15 minutes, dropping by the church to say hello and take them a few little Easter gifts (have you thanked your church secretary lately? I bet you would make her day! We love Patty!). I rested in the car as we drove from place to place, and couldn't really stay anywhere for very long, but gosh it felt good to get out in the fresh air and sunshine.

I had my first Starbuck's in what seems like forever. oh what pure bliss! I can't begin to tell you how much I miss those tasty treats! :) once we made it back home, I slept for several hours. I'm still feeling whooped, but that is okay.

Physically, well, chemo has started taking its toll already. I feel dizzy and queasy most of the time. my body, which shakes with tremors anyhow, really shakes now. I'm always cold. and that is so unusual for me. so I have to stay bundled up in my hoodies and a special shawl that a dear friend made for me. I've started losing my eyelashes. yeah, it's weird. most people have their hair fall out first. for me, my eyelashes are falling out like crazy. they keep getting caught in my eyes and drive me nuts. some of my hair is coming out as well. I lost a tooth the other day. that caught me off guard. just a big gaping hole in the back of my mouth.....no warning whatsoever. just gone. and it's been one week....

I can't start asking what the next week will bring or the one after that or the one after that because I will go absolutely bonkers if I do. I have to just hang on to each moment and savor the beauty each one contains. Because there ARE still wonders to behold. there ARE still joys to experience and I fully intend to grab each one I encounter and wrap them in my heart, holding on for all they are worth. and then I will let the joy and wonder go to float along to the next person on the wings of the birds that sit outside my window. they will ride on the song of the owl that still serenades me every day. and perhaps the joy and wonder will come to you, dear friend! and you will feel the love that has touched my life and hold it in your heart for just a moment and know how blessed we have been. :)

Smash Journal cover

Coffee of the Day - Pumpkin Spice

Hello to all of my beautiful followers and readers! Guess what? today I am actually going to show you a crafty!!! I know.... you are picking yourself up off of the floor because you think all I do these days is talk talk talk about icky cancer stuff. well no, today you get to see the cover of my Smash journal. not that thrilling I know, but at least it is a papercraft project! ;)


I've been working on this in bits and pieces. a lot of time has been spent waiting on drying. there is so much shine and sparkle that doesn't come through the scanner. I think there are a total of 4 shades of glimmer mist as well as walnut ink spray on there. I also used a wonderful pearl white paint as the base and rock candy distress stickles to accent parts of the dress as well as all of the flowers. so you'll have to use your imagination, dear friends. :)

The paper doll pieces come from the She Art collection by Christy Tomlinson. aren't they wonderful? I die cut the grass using some of her paper line and a MFT die. the ruffle ribbon is May Arts and the butterfly is Prima. it reads, 'She left her fears behind.' Doesn't that just seem so perfect for this journal?

I've been making journal tags for things that have been going on so far. Photos are ready to be picked up at Wally World, so then will get started on the inside pages. I'll post as I get each one completed.


Chemo went okay yesterday. Had a bad reaction to one of the medicines during the actual treatment, but the nurse was so kind and sat with me while I returned to normal. My friend Mel had sent me a mag she was featured in from the UK, so I took that with me to read. Another friend, Tracey, made a special bracelet for me, so I made sure to wear it. I was surrounded by my wonderful friends yesterday! thank you! feeling puny since returning home, but that is to be expected. at least this is all temporary. gosh, I have retained so much fluid and look like a hairless water buffalo in this photo. sheesh.....

I do want to be sure to mention this most lovely blog post by Krista of Saturated Canary. She has drawn an adorable cancer support image that she is offering for free to anyone who follows her blog. She also was so kind and gave me a sweet mention. Thank you, Krista! :) hugs to you!!!! please be sure to leave her a note of thanks and tell her I sent you over. she is such a generous and kind soul.

Grace

Coffee of the Day - Pecan Pie



But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

Yesterday David and I spent a few hours out and about enjoying the beautiful day after my hospital trip. It was pure joy to spend the day with my hunny bunny. (he rolls his eyes every time he hears that I call him that on my blog. tee hee!) Nothing spectacular happened - lunch out and a trip to our fave antique mall, but just spending the day with someone you love with all your heart & soul can bring joy in the most amazing ways. We finally had a chance to really talk about all that is going on in our lives. and as all of you know, communication is crucial in ANY relationship.

When we returned home, we had a surprise that threw us both for a loop. The family of one of Ryan's best friends gifted us in a most amazing way. Between this family and another family dear & close to us, we are now able to start paying toward our insurance deductible. The tears were flowing as we thanked God for providing through these kind & generous people. I told David how undeserving I felt for all that has been done for us. I truly don't deserve the outpouring of love all of you have bestowed. But you have done it anyhow, and it isn't stopping. As David and I talked it through, God reminded me, this is what grace is all about. In my weakness, He provides because of His unfathomable love. and He uses everyday people to show this love to each of us.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for allowing God to use each of you. You can't possibly understand how much you have touched the hearts of each person in my family. If I don't tell you individually, know that your kindness does not go un-noticed. I see it. but most importantly, God sees it. and He smiles. :)

Will I ever look like a girl again?

Coffee of the Day - Salted Caramel Pecan

Well I just got home from the hospital after having the first round of scans done. I am so blessed to have the most kind and friendly people at the hospital we use. They are always so very nice to me and that really does make such a big difference, especially as often as I am there.


David cut my hair yesterday to get ready for chemo. (photo taken this a.m. at hospital) it's not just short, it's pretty much a buzz cut, but with little spikey bits poking up here and there. oh my. I don't resemble anything female anymore. look like some odd creature that is asexual. if I weren't wearing pink crocs and a pink hoodie, you wouldn't know exactly WHAT I was...... once all of my hair is gone, no one will be able to tell if I'm a girl, boy, cat, dog, hedgehog, or elephant.....sigh. but you will look at me and think, 'oh my, that person is SICK'.

I have never ever wanted to be defined by my illnesses, whatever they were - whether it was my seizures or chronic fatigue or my tremors (that have gotten really bad lately) or the cancer. but we as humans can't help it. you see a woman without any hair and your mind automatically thinks 'chemo/cancer/sick'. I do it, we all do it. and I do NOT want cancer to be all that I am. I will NOT let cancer be all that I am.


So many people have told me that I need to journal about all I am going through, so David was so nice and let me buy a Smash book when I was at the grocery store the other night. They just happened to have a brand new display of the Smash products, well at least I think it was a new display. I hadn't been to the grocery store in forever. So of course I grabbed the pink one after calling Dave to ask him about it. I've got the cover almost completely decorated. I'll post it as soon as it's finished. I've been working on some journaling tags for the inside. Have forwarded a few photos off to Walmart that Dave will pick up for me later so I can add those as well. All of the cards I've received will go inside. I think this book will help me a lot. I have a few stamp sets I want to pick up for this - some Unity Brave Girl and She Art, Saturated Canary, MFT Fight Like a Girl, and a few others. they seem to fit so well what I am going through and what I want to say.

I never did mention it, but over the weekend, Ryan was in the HS musical. They did 'The Wizard of Oz' and he had several parts. I was able to go yesterday. how wonderful to get out, not only to see Ryan & his friends do such a wonderful job, but to catch up with so many great friends of ours as well.

I'll post again after chemo on Wed. and I see how I do.
Love to all of you! Jennifer

Disney Movies & Toenails

Coffee of the Day - Toasted Almond

Happy day to all of you! it is the most absolutely beautiful day here! :)


I have been sitting at my computer, which is right in front of my front porch window. There is a pair of robins who have taken over the nest that sits on the beams of our porch. They are so busy getting ready for their family to grow, darting here and there, and serenading me with their lovely songs as they work. Other bird friends pop by to say their 'hellos' as well as chippies and squirrels. it's just like a little Disney movie coming to life right outside my window! what fun! :) or who knows, maybe I'm just delusional these days..... grins! but I prefer to think of it as a happy reminder of the joy that can be found everywhere if we just stop to look.

So many of you have left such wonderful messages of love and support. You can't even begin to know how much these mean to me and my family! thank you! your beautiful cards sit in a basket right by the front door so everyone can look through them. I haven't been able to thank all of you individually, but know that each and every card has brought a smile to my heart, as well as to every person in my family. :)

I have spent countless hours on the phone with my insurance company, and they have agreed to approve my upcoming tests and treatments. We do have out-of-pocket expenses that will be more than I even want to think about, but at least they are stepping up as long as all of my treatments take place in 2012. so I've been busy getting as many appts. scheduled as I possibly can to get things moving along. next week is going to be VERY busy with tests and chemo starting.


It's funny, surgery didn't bother me. in fact the night before I was more concerned about making sure my toe nails were painted. I didn't dare go to the hospital with gnarly toenails! ;) and yes, the nurses DID comment on the pretty color! tee hee! but this chemo thing scares the doo-wops outta me. I'm going to have most of my hair cut off this weekend to get ready for the hair loss. my dr. told me that it will be falling out. That's not such a big deal, but chemo - gosh. you KNOW you have cancer then. there is no mistaking it. and even when your dr. gives you the survival percentages, it's never 100%. the tests next week will let us know how far it's spread. well, they are the first step. it's that whole 'Triple Negative' thing......

yep, I'm walking with God. but right now I'm on tippy toe. on my pretty painted toe nails.... sure glad He has a firm grip on my hand.

One Heart, So Proud and Strong

Coffee of the Day - Pumpkin Spice



Isn't this the most glorious photo? it was taken yesterday of the entire student body of Chardon High School out on the football field. my heart is just bustin' buttons for all of them. Ryan is standing on the 50 yard line, at the top point where the 2 halves come together. one of his best friends is the guy wearing the white shorts; Ry is wearing black shorts.

Chardon HS has also won a Cleveland radio station contest called 'Rock Your Prom'. They will have a DJ to host prom as well as some other special lighting effects, etc. to truly make this a prom to remember. Thank you to everyone who voted.

On a much different note, my insurance company has decided to not be as co-operative as they could be with my entire cancer journey. So all dr. visits, tests, treatments, etc. from here on out have been cancelled. We just don't have the money to pay for it all ourselves and I flat out refuse to have my family get further into debt over this. it so isn't worth it.

If I truly say that I trust God with each and every step I take, then I need to actually do that. the days ahead will be no different than the ones I've already taken. He has EVERY ONE OF THEM covered. He has already planned out this path - it is up to me to trust Him. If I really do believe He walks beside me, then where is the fear? I go with a host of mighty warriors as my bodyguards! talk about a team of superheroes! :) so what do I have to fear from cancer? absolutely nothing! if it returns, then we deal with it. I can not walk in fear of the future or 'what ifs'. That is not what faith is about.

So I will continue to find joy in each & every day I have. I will continue to rejoice in the sunshine. I will continue to seek out the song of the birds every morning. I will continue to find the blessings my precious Heavenly Father has hidden in the day, just for ME! :) and I will continue to love the people He has so graceiously blessed my life with. that would be YOU!!! :)

One Month ....

Coffee of the Day - Mocha Mint


One month ago today I found a lump in my breast. who would have known just how much my life would change from that day to this. who would have known just how much the lives of my huband, my sons would change. what about my other family members? my friends? have their lives been touched by this?

In one month I have been to the hospital so many times I have lost count. I have been scanned, x-rayed, had so very much blood drawn, and had a tumor removed.

But in one month I have received more love than this old Texas girl could have ever thought possible. I have seen friendship acted out through food deliveries, flowers & gifts brought to my door, the most beautiful cards appearing in my mailbox, and my inbox is filled every day from people all over the world checking to see how my family & I are doing.

In one month I have never lost faith in my beloved God. He has never once left my side through this path we now walk. I am not a super-Christian by any means, so please don't put me on any pedestal. I don't belong there. instead look at the One I belong to - my Heavenly Father who guides my path, shows me the beauty that fills this world and the next, and keeps His promises to never leave me when the going is a bit rocky. or VERY rocky. There will always always be a reason to smile, if I make that choice.

Today we learned that we caught the cancer early. What a blessing indeed! It is an agressive cancer, so I start chemo in 2 weeks. I'll have 4-6 treatments of chemo, 3 weeks apart. 6 weeks of radiation every day will follow that. Right now I am fighting pneumonia that I picked up while at the hospital last week for surgery


But remember this - the sun still shines; the birds still sing. and YOU are loved with an everlasting love! Jennifer

Chardon Proud, Chardon Strong

Coffee of the Day - Coconut Macadamia


One of Ryan's teachers sent me a link to her flikr acct today. I asked, and she gave me permission, to share it with all of you. My heart was just bursting with joy as I looked through this album. People from all over the world have been sending cards to Chardon High School to show their support. Student office helpers spend hours opening cards and placing them on EVERY student's locker as well as throughout the school halls. Banners line the hallways as well from schools, some many miles away.

Never ever doubt that love prevails! :)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/lrmonaco/sets/72157629526531147/

Post Surgery Update...

Coffee of the Day - Texas Turtle (chocolate, caramel, & pecan)




Hello my wonderful family & friends! Surgery went well on Tuesday. I ended up not going in until about 3 pm, which was much later than we were first told, but that is okay. It meant we had a lovely visit with a dear friend of ours who popped by to say hello. :) I must say I am just overwhelmed by the kindness that has been poured out upon me and my family through all of this. so many beautiful flowers, gifts, cards - especially handmade ones!, emails, texts, phone calls.... gosh, the list just goes on and on. :) Thank you to each one of you who have expressed such love and concern. your prayers have touched each person in my family. I've heard that so many of you wore pink on Tuesday to show your support! how that makes my heart sing! :)


I ended up having 3 lymph nodes removed, but thank the dear Lord in Heaven, none show signs of cancer! left behind a doozy of an inscision though..... I must say I am most proud of my ginormous zombie scar from the tumor removal - it packs a whompin' 6" or so of pure Saw-like terror! grins! and oh lawsie, does it hurt. so I'm not being the brave mommy one itty bitty bit for this freak show..... I'm taking my pain meds like a good girl and sleeping like a baby. tee hee! nurses in recovery told me the tumor was about the size of an orange, so it was much larger than they thought from the beginning. just happy it's gone! ;)


We get test results on Monday when I go back in for a follow-up visit. Originally we were supposted to find out tomorrow, but the pathology lab has been backed up, so now it will be Monday.

So that's it for now. again, thank you so much to everyone for your kindness! love to all of you! Jennifer

Oh my stars..... what a week....

Coffee of the Day - Starbucks Decaf Caffe Verona

Dropping in to give y'all an update on this crazy, sad sad week......


First off, my prayers go out to so many in my little community of Chardon. Of course the families who lost their most precious children are at the top of that list. We can not possibly know the heart-wrenching pain they feel right now. May they find some degree of peace and comfort in God's loving arms. But there has been a trickle down, almost dominoe effect to this shooting tragedy as well. I have watched students, parents, Chardon HS almuni who have been struck numb by this as well. My prayers are for all of us. May we all find comfort in each other and in the knowledge that God has not left us. His love for us still stands strong, just as we do. We will not let this one act define us, but we will instead overcome with grace and love and strength and yes, forgiveness.

The prayer services were absolutely beautiful. David has been serving as a grief counselor at the schools. He and another pastor held a luncheon at Pizza Hut on Tuesday to begin grief counseling for the students and parents. There was a wonderful turn-out and Pizza Hut ended up donating all of the food. The red ribbons and yard signs all around town are a sign of our coming together. The students who have come to Chardon from all over the Cleveland area to show their love and support let us know that school rivalry comes second to friendship. The acts of bravery by CHS teachers, police force, sheriff's dept, and others just goes to show that we might be a small village, but we are mighty in love and loyalty. I am so proud to be from Chardon! I am so proud to call this my home! :)



as for my cancer treatments - I go for surgery on Tuesday, March 6. I will be having a lumpectomy with 6 weeks of required radiation. Once my lymph nodes are examined, we will find out if chemo is necessary. We'll also discover by week's end how far the cancer has spread. I can't even begin to tell you how touched I have been by the many cards, flowers ( especially from my DTeamies!!! y'all so rock!! ), emails, phone calls, and such that have arrived. The outpouring of love is tremendous! My heart is overwhelmed by each one of you! Thank you so very very much! :) I hope to send out thank you notes at some point in time......

Right now I am just so very tired. Have a hard time moving my left arm around. You can actually see the lump above my skin now, so that is a bit freaky. At first we thought it was just due to swelling from the biopsy, but it's gotten larger rather than shrinking back down.

Will keep y'all updated as we get news. Love to EACH ONE OF YOU!!!! You are so amazing!!!! :)
Jennifer

Shooting at our High School - Please pray

About an hour ago there was a shooting at our high school. Thankfully, our son Ryan had stayed home ill today, so he wasn't there. But my heart goes out to everyone who was..... Please please pray.

So many reports are coming in, all of them saying different things. It does appear that there were 2 shooters and several people injured.

oh my goodness, my heart is just breaking to think that this has happened in our precious little village....

For all of us Brave Girls....

Coffee of the Day - Vanilla Nut

This was in my email box today from the Brave Girls Club. It's so perfect for all of us.... :) love ya, dearest friends & family! and thank you from the bottom of my heart for your support.

Dear Sweetheart Girl,

When living a brave and uncommon life, things are never going to be the same, ever. We are constantly learning the new ways to do things, and the best ways to do things. We are often surviving through broken heartedness and growing stronger to get us to the next path of growth.

We are always seeing new and beautiful things, and extracting the gifts, lessons and beauty out of everything, including the painful parts.

We are always always always becoming, always. We were never meant to stay stagnant. We were never meant to "arrive" and to stay in the same place forever. Life's greatest joy comes in creating and being a creation, in creating things that did not exist before we played our part in creating them, and in becoming a creation that never existed until we grew into it, and in seeing everything around us constantly becoming something that never existed until that moment. Life is truly about becoming.

Enjoy it, dear friend. All of it. Tomorrow it will be different, and different the day after that. It is ALL meant to be enjoyed, learned from and taken in as a gift. Receive it with all of the love it was intended to give.

You are so important, loved and wonderful.
xoxoxo

edited to add - the most beautiful arrangement of flowers arrived late this afternoon from all of my Jellypark Friends! thank you from the bottom of my heart, dear ones! they are as lovely as each of you! :)

I'm officially a Pink Ribbon Lady now....

yep, the results are in. I have breast cancer. still trying to process the news.....get my head wrapped around all that now lies before us. thankfully the dr.s are moving at a very fast pace and are just as kind as can possibly be. I see the surgeon on Monday, so we'll go from there.

Tyler is coming home this weekend again. It will be wonderful to see him and spend some time together. goodness gracious me, was it ever hard telling the guys the news. but they are being so wonderful about everything. my SIL, Susan, cracks me up with her reaction. raising my shot of tequila to ya, Sue! ;)

I'll craft as I am able and post whatever I make. I hope y'all can understand why I'm just not up to it right now, plus still so very very tired. my dr. said that is to be expected. and boy does this explain why I've felt so poopy for so long. so we can only go up from here, right?! ;)

The sun is shining so gloriously right now. it makes me smile. :)
love to each of you, just for being YOU!

Doing okay, thank you!

Coffee of the Day - not sure what flavor hubby made, as it was already finished by the time I got up this morning. thank you, my hunny bunny! :)

Thought I would give a quicksie post about the biopsy yesterday - all went well and we should have results by Thursday. I am tired as all get out and just can NOT stay awake for whatever reason. Don't know what's up with that, but I'm surely getting my beauty rest, that's for certain! ;)

I want to tell you that your sweet comments, emails, texts, calls, prayers, and posts mean so much to me and my family. Know that you are truly loved, my dear friends!

Don't know when I'll get back to crafting since I can't seem to keep my eyes open for more than half an hour at a time, but I'll post whatever I make. Will let you know test results as well as soon as we have them.

Have a most glorious day, too! Remember that the birds are still singing, the sun is still shining, Starbucks is still open somewhere, and most especially, God still sits on His throne. :) hugs!

edited to add - dr's office called this evening to schedule an appt. for tomorrow morning to go over test results, so they are back early. will let you know tomorrow what we learn.

Sending Happiness at Pile it On

Coffee of the Day - Salted Caramel Pecan

Today begins a new challenge at Pile it On - Sending Happiness, and MelJen's Designs is our wonderful sponsor!


Images are from MelJen Designs, papers are Jillibean Soup Sweet & Sour collection, baker's twine & felt heart are from Etsy, and then I added some dew drops for a bit of fun. the hearts on the main image are covered in crystal effects to give a bit of dimenstion, and I also used my black spica glitter pen for just a touch of sparkle. I kept this fairly simple since it will be mailed to one of my son's away at college.

This time tomorrow I'll be at the hospital having a biopsy on a lump I found a few days ago. the good news is that everyone has been so very kind and the doctors are moving fast. Hopefully we'll have results in just a few days. Prayers for my family would be much appreciated, as telling my husband & sons was the hardest thing I've had to do in a long while. I'm at peace with whatever the results bring. God is still good, every day, all the time. The birds still sing outside my window, the sun still shines somewhere in the world. Of that I am sure. :)

Challenges:
MelJen - anything goes
2 Sisters - stitching
Crafty Ann's - bold and bright
PolkaDoodles - recipe
Do You Stack Up - layers
Sarah Hurley - die cuts
Crazy Amigo - hearts
Digital Tuesday - use your stash (heart and dew drops have been around a LONG time!)
Tuesday Throwdown - entwined
Cupcake Craft - entwined