Sunday, April 29, 2012

Mother's Day at Pile it On, but alas she gets no flowers.....

Coffee of the Day - Maple Pecan (to celebrate the last day of our annual Maple Festival!)

Yes, you are seeing correctly! I have a card for a DT project! :) oh happy, happy day! Today is a fun challenge over at Pile it On - create a Mother's Day card without using any flowers at all.... sounds much tougher than it actually is, especially for a coffee lover like myself. tee hee! My MIL happens to enjoy coffee almost as much as I, so it was easy to choose an image from our sponsor, Bugaboo, to make this fun card!

Papers are Lily Bee Designs Head Over Heels by, twill ribbon is Prima, buttons are Cosmo Cricket, baker's twine is Martha Stewart, accents of shimmerz paint and my white gel pen were added, and finally the heart was punched from a Starbuck's coffee cozy before spraying with pearl glimmer mist for a touch of shine! the polka dots on the coffee pot were made by tapping the end of my pen into my ink pad, then stamping right onto the cs.

Pile it On - Mother's Day, but no flowers
The Crafter's Cafe - embellies with a twist (Mother's Day)
Party Time Tuesdays - anything goes with kraft
Ribbon Carousel - anything goes with a spooled item
Creative Card Crew - ribbon (hope the twill counts)
Paper Take Weekly - sketch
Bunny Zoe - ribbon or twine
Made Especially for You - recycle (Starbuck's coffee cozy)
Divas by Design - buttons and/or bows
Simon Says Stamp - anything goes
Deep Ocean - punches and/or dies
Papercraft Star - polka dots
Aud Sentiments - anything goes
Hiding in my Craftroom - Mother's Day
Fussy & Fancy - punches/dies
Pixie Cottage - Mom or special lady

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Uncle Fester is alive and well and living in Ohio.....

Coffee of the Day - Maple Pecan

I bet you didn't know that Uncle Fester from The Adams Family is STILL alive and well..... yep, lives here in a little village in northeast Ohio.... just look at this wonky photo and tell me I don't look just like him! ;) dark shadows under my eyes and all! ha! oh my gosh, it's a good thing I was never a raving beauty, because I would be going through some kind of an identity crisis about now, dear friends. thankfully the sores on my head and body aren't showing in this photo. probably because it's not a fab photo to begin with since I took it with my phone, but I did want to show you what I look like these days.

my goodness, I had no idea just how warm hair actually keeps a head. I find I'm constantly reaching for my winter hats because my head gets sooooooo cold. David thinks I look like Ripley from the Alien movie series. guess I need to start working out with the weights now.... yeah, that made me giggle, too! ;)

now don't fall off of your seats or anything, but I am actually going to have some papercraft projects to show you in a few days! shut the door - I know!!!!! isn't that cool?! I've really truly been up to doing a spot of crafting these past few days. nothing earth shattering, but hey, I'm tickled pea green to just get back to my craft table!

Going to put together a box of cards to take to my next chemo appt. People bring in hats, pillows, blankets, etc. that they have made to share with everyone. There is no charge for any of it - it's all free to anyone going through chemo treatments. My oncology nurse is also a papercrafter, so I asked her if I could bring in some cards to share. There isn't anything like that there. I thought about it after remembering the big promotion SCS does every Oct. for MD Anderson. She was thrilled, since she has been asking to see some of my cards from the first time I started going. I am so happy to be able to share my cards with people who will hopefully enjoy them. I give most of them away anyhow, so this is perfect.

All of you have a most wonderful afternoon and weekend! Remember to watch for that sun and listen for those birds! :)

Monday, April 23, 2012

Thunderstorms & Zombies

Coffee of the Day - Mocha Mint

Oh the twists and turns the roads we walk do take.... thunderstorms are approaching, my dear friends. but you need a rain shower in order to make those beautiful rainbows, don't you? Rainbows are filled with such promise, such beauty, let us never forget for one moment.

My hair is almost completely gone. Not really such a biggie in the long run, but it is sure annoying to have it constantly falling out into my face. I seem to leave piles of it every where I go - worse than the dogs. so glad we cut it down to just an inch or so or else it would be very traumatic to see clumps of it all over the place. We'll be shaving it off today if possible. I have these horrid sores that have cropped up all over my body, but especially on my poor little head. My teeth are turning a strange shade of grey, and oh, how my bones just hurt.

I tried to let Tyler and Mick know over the phone that their Mom is looking much different, but when Mick came home this weekend for a quick trip, the look on his face said it all. poor guy tried to hide it, but I could see the horror in his eyes. How I would love to not ever have my family go through this battle - to be able to protect them the way a Mother should from the trials of life so they don't have to watch...... that is the hardest part of this walk. I don't care what happens to me - better me than anyone else. but oh good golly..... don't make it hard on my guys. that breaks my heart into pieces.

I ask for prayers for them, please. I will be fine, no matter where this road takes me. But my family.... oh my. They didn't sign on for this. and the tears I cry are all for them. I see the look in their eyes and it rips me apart. I would protect them from this if I could. I would keep them from having to see my body fall apart and decay. I truly am turning into a zombie right in front of them. and there is nothing I can do to shelter them from the horror of what I am becoming.

But there is still joy.... I know it deep down inside. I feel it and I can see it. A robin has built her nest right outside our back porch room. I watched her on Saturday bring the pieces to the lilac bush where she has decided her family home should be. On Sunday I saw the most beautiful red fox running along side the road. It's been years since I last saw one in its natural habitat. My cat friend comes by every day to visit with me on the back steps. He will even let me pet him now. So while my body changes there are still precious moments of beauty if we can but stop and find a moment to be still and enjoy them.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Round 2 in the Chemo Octagon....

Coffee of the Day - Cinnamon Hazelnut

Well another round of chemo has come and gone... and boy are my poor arms so bruised after all of the tests and needle prods this past week to prove it. I look as if I went a few rounds in the Octagon and came out the loser. add to that my hair coming out like a shedding dog and I am one raggedy looking critter, I can tell you that! ;)

Haven't been getting the best of news from the medical end this past week. We are watching closely some 'activity' according to my PET scan in both my liver and bone marrow that are cause for concern. I was given the oh so encouraging quote the other day of 'survival is possible'.... do they not have any clue as to what that sounds like on this side of the desk?! oh well. they haven't met my God, have they? He has a plan and I will keep walking HIS path, not the one set forth by the doctors. for 10 years doctors told me I would never have children. then lo and behold in 3 years I had 3 most glorious boys. every day I thank God for the blessing of them. so I will keep things in perspective - understanding the reality of what is happening in my body, but knowing that my path has already been set before me. it is up to me to choose how I will respond to all of this news.

so I continue to listen to the beautiful birds. my owl friend continues to serenade me every day. I caught a glimpse of him for the first time ever the other night. what a wonder to behold! he flew right by our neighbor's house with those mighty wings outstretched. my family is a constant joy to me. I couldn't possibly ask for anything more in my life. I am filled to overflowing with blessing upon blessing. Life is full and life is complete. :)

Friday, April 13, 2012

Chemo Brain is setting in...

Coffee of the Day - Maple Cream

Well, it's official. Chemo Brain is making it's way into my wonked out head and I'm getting strange looks from my family all the time. oh my, I think it's just gonna get worse as time goes on.... I say things and then have to stop and think about it after I get that 'look' from everyone. I find that my fingers just can NOT seem to type properly on the keyboard anymore. it takes me forever to get one sentence correct. so posts will be short and sweet from now on. y'all are probably all shouting 'hooray' on that one! :)

I was at the hospital today for my PET scan. we've discovered that my type of breast cancer is a bit more rare and agressive than was first thought. it also has a high risk of return and not such great odds when it does. so my dr. has extended my chemo by several more treatments for now. more of my lashes, brows, and hair have fallen out. but I'm trying to sit outside and enjoy the sunshine while I can. have taken up chatting with a stray cat that's been hanging around. he now comes when I call out to him. :) you know what I say - the sun is still shining and those birds are still singing! giggles!

Enjoy your weekend and know you are loved sooooooooooooooooooo much! :)

p.s. I also wanted to add a quick comment here about word verification on blogs - if you have this added to you blog, I'm sorry but I just won't be able to leave comments any longer. it's always been hard for me in the past, but it's gotten just almost impossible for me to try to read those letters now - especially now that the extra words have been added. what many of you don't realize is that for those of us with neurological problems, it is harder than you can possibly imagine to try to figure out those letters with a wonked out brain. I can spend up to 10 min. trying to decipher some of them and then end up with a nasty headache. comment moderation can solve your problems with spammers if that is your concern. but I do apologize - I just can't read those things anymore. please don't take it personally.

Sunday, April 8, 2012

A Most Blessed Easter to You

Coffee of the Day - Coconut Almond

I just want to take a quick moment to wish each and every one of you a most blessed Easter! I hope that you are surrounded by family & friends today.

Know that you are loved with an everlasting love.... even when you don't love yourself very much. There is One who loves that most unlovely part of you and smiles when He thinks of you. He gave it all for you and would do it again and again. and I, for one, am so glad that He did! :)

Happy Easter!

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

A Week since chemo...

Coffee of the Day - Toffee Nut (first Starbucks in For-Ev-Er!!! major yummmmm!)

Thought I would pop in with my 'one week since chemo' post. What a thrill. ;)

Actually, Dave and I spent the day out, popping by to see Tyler for about 15 minutes, dropping by the church to say hello and take them a few little Easter gifts (have you thanked your church secretary lately? I bet you would make her day! We love Patty!). I rested in the car as we drove from place to place, and couldn't really stay anywhere for very long, but gosh it felt good to get out in the fresh air and sunshine.

I had my first Starbuck's in what seems like forever. oh what pure bliss! I can't begin to tell you how much I miss those tasty treats! :) once we made it back home, I slept for several hours. I'm still feeling whooped, but that is okay.

Physically, well, chemo has started taking its toll already. I feel dizzy and queasy most of the time. my body, which shakes with tremors anyhow, really shakes now. I'm always cold. and that is so unusual for me. so I have to stay bundled up in my hoodies and a special shawl that a dear friend made for me. I've started losing my eyelashes. yeah, it's weird. most people have their hair fall out first. for me, my eyelashes are falling out like crazy. they keep getting caught in my eyes and drive me nuts. some of my hair is coming out as well. I lost a tooth the other day. that caught me off guard. just a big gaping hole in the back of my warning whatsoever. just gone. and it's been one week....

I can't start asking what the next week will bring or the one after that or the one after that because I will go absolutely bonkers if I do. I have to just hang on to each moment and savor the beauty each one contains. Because there ARE still wonders to behold. there ARE still joys to experience and I fully intend to grab each one I encounter and wrap them in my heart, holding on for all they are worth. and then I will let the joy and wonder go to float along to the next person on the wings of the birds that sit outside my window. they will ride on the song of the owl that still serenades me every day. and perhaps the joy and wonder will come to you, dear friend! and you will feel the love that has touched my life and hold it in your heart for just a moment and know how blessed we have been. :)