for a crafty card related post, scroll down to the next one or click here.
Today it doesn't feel as if the sun is shining. I can see it outside my window, but I just don't FEEL it. have you had days like that before? I'm sure you have. we all do. and I've learned enough in these almost 50 years that the feelings like this will pass, thankfully, but while they are here they suck eggs big time.
Even though I have spent most of this summer alone, I'm hit once again as my guys prepare to head back to college. Tyler leaves tomorrow and Mick leaves on Sunday. Ryan is staying home for a year to go to a local community college. He gave up a year of traveling with Up with People to be home with me. I can't even begin to tell you the enormous amount of guilt I feel over that one. Thankfully they have kept a spot open for him for next year because of the circumstances, and for that I am most grateful. It also allows him more time for fundraising, but it still stinks that he put his life on hold because of me. I have to say once again that I am so very proud of my sons. :)
I have an appointment with the orthopedic surgeon on Monday about my shoulder. in the mean time I have pain medication that helps a little to give me some movement. Don't like the idea of more surgery/hospitals/medical stuff, but can't really avoid it these days. really don't want to start radiation treatments either, but right now don't even know when that is going to be. have to get this shoulder stuff done first. gosh, I'm so very weary of health ick. and so very weary of feeling so rotten.
I've been living in my flannel pants & t-shirts & hoodies since the winter. don't even recognize photos of me with hair on my head. it seems like another person entirely. I don't even remember those days anymore. Tried going for a quick trip to Wal-Mart yesterday and Tyler had to drive back. I was hanging on to the cart just to get through the store within 20 min. of arrival. this is getting so old. again, I'm just weary. do you see the sun over there? please tell me it's still around and someone feels it..... I need to know that it's there for someone, even if I can't feel it.....